Seasons. From winter's pause comes flowing sap, come buds and soon leaves, flowers that precede fruit. Growing time. Warm, friendly, long days, sultry nights. For this I am ready, willing, and hopefully able.A woman I know is showing the disintegration of age. Diabetes has played out in her kidneys and now her eyes. Her mind is softening. Her hands shake, her breathing is more labored than last I noticed. Her growing seasons are behind - or are they?
Who of us really knows what goes on in the minds of the elderly, as they acknowledge death's certain approach. Young people, healthy people don't really think they will die. Oh, they know it intellectually, but unless a mortal illness invades them or someone close to them, they don't live as though their number of days is finite. But the elderly watch the people they know - who know them - leave, never to return. What is that like? What goes on in the mind of one who's generation dwindles? Is is like the beauty of a faded rose, unfolded, vulnerable, its work exposed even while it shares its last perfume?
Studying children invites us to remember the joy of discovery, innocence, freedom from peer pressure.Observing the elderly invites us to examine our personal progress in comparison to a long well-lived or poorly lived life. This week I heard a little girl say of her grandma, "Her whole life seems so sad. She hasn't done much and no one likes her because she's so mean. She's all old now. It's just sad."
It is sad. But maybe the good is that this little girl will remember her impressions and decide to live a different sort of life as far as she is able.
Yes, there is much to learn in looking backwards at youth and at the same time looking forward toward the beautiful, fragrant faded rose.
I'm finding this middle ground (should I be destined to live a long life) to be a wonderful stretch of calm sea to pause and reflect, reposition the rudder a little, smooth out the sailing, focus on the horizon's point that most appeals, sit back and enjoy the ride. Not bad, not bad at all.
