Heightened Awareness

October Quote - A Wee Bit Early

2010-09-28T13:29:00.000-07:00

Youth is never left behind. It is forever carried gently in the heart.

September Quote

2010-09-07T05:41:00.000-07:00

While the world cheers those who 'do', it seldom takes notice of those who quietly 'become.'

August Quote

2010-08-30T07:18:00.000-07:00

"The basic thing is that everyone wants happiness, no one wants suffering. And happiness mainly comes from our own attitude, rather than from external factors. If your own mental attitude is correct, even if you remain in a hostile atmosphere, you feel happy."

~~ Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama

July Quote

2010-07-20T10:30:00.000-07:00

"He is a great simpleton who imagines that the chief power of wealth is to supply wants. In ninety-nine cases out of a hundred it creates more wants than it supplies."

~Benjamin Franklin

"Across the Universe"

2010-07-12T11:38:00.000-07:00

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup,
They slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my open mind,
Possessing and caressing me.
Jai guru deva
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes,
That call me on and on across the universe,
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box they
Tumble blindly as they make their way
Across the universe
Jai guru deva
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.

Sounds of laughter shades of earth are ringing
Through my open views inviting and inciting me
Limitless undying love which shines around me like a
Million suns, it calls me on and on
Across the universe
Jai guru deva
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world. ~~ Beatles

July Quote

2010-06-30T18:55:00.000-07:00

"There is the path of wisdom and the path of ignorance. They are far apart and lead to different ends. . . Abiding in the midst of ignorance, thinking themselves wise and learned, fools go aimlessly hither and thither like the blind led by the blind. What lies beyond life shines not to those who are childish, or careless, or deluded by wealth."~~ the Katha Upanishad

June Quote

2010-06-04T22:42:00.000-07:00

"To follow the path of wisdom has never been more urgent or more difficult. Our society is dedicated almost entirely to the celebration of ego, with all its sad fantasies about success and power, and it celebrates those very forces of greed and ignorance that are destroying the planet. It has never been more difficult to hear the unflattering voice of the truth, and never more difficult, once having heard it, to follow it: because there is nothing in the world around us that supports our choice, and the entire society in which we live seems to negate every idea of sacredness or eternal meaning. So at the time of our most acute danger, when our very future is in doubt, we as human beings find ourselves at our most bewildered, and trapped in a nightmare of our own creation." ~~Sogyal Rinpoche

Chinese Proverb

2010-05-25T18:02:00.001-07:00

"When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other."

May Quote

2010-05-12T18:27:00.000-07:00

"Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old." ~~ Franz Kafka

Meditations Within and Without

2010-04-16T23:51:00.000-07:00

A drippy day.

Lilac blossoms.

Milk and tea.

Quiet heart, meditative mind.

Rejoice in the Lord always.

April 1 - Vibrant Day

2010-04-01T23:11:00.000-07:00

Beauty has many forms. Obvious and overlooked. In front of our faces and under our feet. Within us. Without us. It's everywhere.

To live a mindful life, to choose to see with eternity's eyes rather than the world's, this is my choice.

The more I learn of cultures far away the more I realize that the average American's life is so very utilitarian. Make money. Buy things. Make more money. Buy bigger, faster things. Make more money. Worry about all the money. Fix and insure all the things. Squeeze money from any source possible. Hoard, throw away, or sell cheap the old things then buy new things that will soon be hoarded, thrown away, or sold cheaply. And complain. All the time complain complain complain. Where is the beauty? Even children are rushed, pulled, shoved, exhausted, and exasperated.

The most heard complaints?

1. We are sooo busy.

2. We are sooo tired.

Is this really living? Or merely existing?

I find myself invigorated and comforted as well as amazed at the many forms of beauty in my life.

Simple things. Complicated things. Ordinary and special.

The hurry up and die life is not for me.

Savoring. That's the way I live.

Death will come soon enough. No need to hurry.

Today enjoy the vibrant day, the beauty. Slow down. Prioritize true quality over status quo, zestful living over expected plodding, loveliness over noise and toys, and lingering expressions of love over all.

January Promise

2010-01-29T14:22:00.000-08:00

Energy vibrates. In people, flora, and fauna.

Stems shoot from winter's wet, dark soil.

Ebullience!

Pups, kitties, squirrels, calves, lambs, children transcend lethargy. Bodies - tense with joyous excitement - exhibit expectation, wonder.

"Something is on the way, something living, growing!" As if cocked ears can hear the earth's creaking, snapping, whispering, whooshing awakening from slumber, stretching upward, outward.

Heels skip high, kick, change direction in mid-air, meet the ground in motion.

Unhurried, Earth awakens. She takes her sweet time. Each signal offered is met with greeting, understanding, anticipation. Beauty. Warmth. Color. Freedom from stuffy homes and bulky cold-weather clothing. Bare feet, straight garden rows, scents sent from heaven which delight noses. High sunshine. Elixir of life!

Yesteryears past dance in the forefront of memory.

Celebration begins in the hearts and minds of the aware. Cycles noticed, appreciated. Welcomed.

These are things that unify. Sameness. Equality.

Spring envelops everyone, everything in its time.

We are more alike than different. Seasonal cycles remind us so.

We do well to listen.

Beautiful

2009-11-21T15:36:00.001-08:00

My blog friend, Jill, lives in Alaska. She is a athletic adventurer who snowshoes, rides her bike on snow in grueling marathons, hikes, takes gorgeous photos, and writes. An amazing young person.

This photo takes my breath away. I'm borrowing it from Jill for my little blog scrapbook.

Inspiration takes many forms. This is just one.

Realizing Love

2009-11-06T00:22:00.000-08:00

Sometimes a person just needs to make chocolate chip cookies.

With nuts.

With oatmeal.

With coconut.

When alone, Carly Simon on the stereo, pup curled on the kitchen rug.

No need to eat any. Strange. Sampled the dough of course, just to be sure it was right, wink wink.

It was.

And I have six dozen cookies less a few the daughters ate upon their arrival home from teaching children science at a daycare center.

Kept a few out for the working man's return. How I love hearing him return!

But most - the best - are stashed away for the sons this weekend.

Yes, when I make cookies for my people it is as though they are right there in the room with me. My love goes into the treats.

Cookies and love.

Miraculous.

The Story Teller and the Story

2009-09-03T12:36:00.000-07:00

To open one's heart and mind to new things is truly important, this I know. Expansion results, personal growth, understanding.

Openness must be limited, however, or integrity is compromised. To open without reservation or discernment, without conservation of what has already been discovered, to let known context slip away in a flurry of untested ideas can lead to disintegration, confusion, uncertainty. Rebuilding is then necessary.

Better to be conservative in one's acceptance of new ideas and rejection of old. To swoop up others' notions like prairie wildflowers can lead to mistakes. Oops, there's poison ivy in there. Not good. Healing must ensue. To indiscriminately discard a considered philosophy is foolish.

Better to take the time to look things over carefully, honestly yes, slowly, steadily. Mistakes can be avoided. To replace one incorrect conclusion for another is pointless when it's the truth one is after. Worse to replace a truth with an untruth to achieve peaceful 'compromise', 'understanding,' or an unhealthy 'tolerance.'

True understanding comes from knowledge and knowledge from study, from listening and observing. Honesty requires that a person accept what is discovered whether comfortable or not. Truth is truth. Thankfully, it seems to be introduced in easy to swallow portions most of the time. A little more...a little more...and still a little more, building on the base.

When introduced to frightening, discouraging, repulsive information, hearts can break. But if true, better to have an aching heart than blithely skip and grin through self-concocted or ill-taught marshmallow fantasies.

Life hurts.

For the receptive, God's timely balms often bring comfort to the darkest of hurts.

For these hurts and comforts I praise and worship the Creator. Because I trust that life really is working for my good, the good of others but more importantly it ultimately works for God's purposes.

After all, it's not about me - or you - its about the Storyteller and the Story.

Enriching vs Defining

2009-07-24T18:43:00.000-07:00

Our endeavors and achievements should enrich rather than define us.

Right Hand Turn

2009-07-13T14:13:00.001-07:00

Sometimes a couple has to take a right hand turn, veering bravely off the left-turn only, oval-shaped runners' track of life.

Tom and I took a right hand turn the other day, hand in hand, wandering like explorers letting the road reveal its merriment. It began with a hidden pathway off the beach, steps that led to a cheerful, narrow cobblestone street.

A glass artwork gallery greeted us, beckoning. We entered.

Inspired by creativity, hand in hand, the adventure continued. Out to the street, upwards on cobblestones, is that music we hear? Irish music? A quaint pub!

Friendly people, refreshment, ready for more roaming.

Full circle, our path returned us to the beach on this stormy day. Who says a gray beach isn't beautiful? Cozy. A silver, salt-breezed blanket wrapping a soul in reassurance.

Reminders...people notice, people care, people express.

A spontaneously taken, fulfilling right hand turn invigorates a long-time marriage. More right hand turns, less worrying about what 'the world' expects.

Another goofy self-portrait, sealed with a kiss, hold my hand, Tom. We're going to make it.

Happiness

2009-07-08T12:51:00.001-07:00

"...People universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you're fortunate enough. But that's not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don't you will leak away your innate contentment. It's easy enough to pray when you're in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments." ~~ Elizabeth Gilbert

A rather idealistic quote, yet there is truth in it. Especially the concept that happiness is man-made not some magical, mystical turn of fortune. There are times when we glorious yet flawed humans - in maintaining our balance - spiral downward for awhile. These times only increase the intensity of happier moments. And it's in the suffering that wisdom is found. But one mustn't allow the suffering to continue past is usefulness - by wallowing once the darkness has passed - but instead summon effort toward restoring the happier state. And not just for our own comfort.

"...I can see exactly where my episodes of unhappiness have brought suffering or distress or (at the very least) inconvenience to those around me. The search for contentment is, therefore, not merely a self-preserving and self-benefiting act, but also a generous gift to the world. Clearing out all your misery gets you out of the way. You cease being an obstacle, not only to yourself but to anyone else. Only then are you free to serve and enjoy other people." ~~ Elizabeth Gilbert

It's taken me awhile to figure this out. Still new at it.

Slow learner, late bloomer, not complaining.

Currently happy.

Fighting to Let Go

2009-07-01T07:50:00.000-07:00

The Horse Whisperer is a favorite movie of mine. For many reasons.

Today the film comes to mind as I struggle to let go, to pry my fingers up, to allow my mind to find strength through relaxing, to do the gritty impossible by becoming gentle, trusting outside forces, to willingly sink into life as into a comfortable sofa at the end of a tiring day.

Why is it so hard to relax? To quit straining? To loosen up? To see that not everything requires my management, that, in fact, the time for my firm hand on some things has past? That I've done all I can, that freedom awaits if I'd just accept it? A gift. New beginnings. Forward movement.

And if I refuse? The knotted ropes I've created which bind me head-to-toe only tighten with the struggle. To believe that it is in energy's cessation that the ropes drop away seems ridiculous, yet, in this particular instance it is so. Required is a different sort of energy, quiet energy, flowing, centered, mindful, trusting, wise, light, peaceful, inclusive, faithful, experienced, awake, confident, and in a winning way, resigned.

How can it be so difficult to NOT and so easy to STRAIN?

Understanding is the beginning of wisdom. And therein lies the answer. Acknowledgement of a problem is the beginning of solution. I'm on the right path.

Now, relax little fingers, we'll land in a safe place, a new safe place.

Reinvention

2009-05-21T18:00:00.001-07:00

Refreshment and the stirrings of energy, inspiration, and happiness again in my fatigued mind, heart, and body.

There is hope.

Sunshine. Summerish breezes. Growing garden. Multiple blooming flowers. Strawberries with whipped cream. Contagious teenage laughter - howls of it. Kisses, hugs, understanding eyes of a man who puts up with oh, so much.

Inner silence. Peace.

Mindful conclusions, settlement.

Cool kept on the outside while the battle raged around.

Progress.

Rest. Healing begins.

A new day.

Deliverance

2009-05-20T23:20:00.000-07:00

"If you knew each day that you could relax in Mother's arms and be nurtured and rocked to health and vitality, wouldn't you do it? This is the nature of letting go." ~~ Tom Crum

One finger at a time. As in a slow-motion dream I release lies and pain.

It will be accomplished. A shift has occurred. In my sight. In my thinking. In my heart. Light bulb moment. Illusion gives way to reality, yes, a straightened, relaxed finger at a time. She and she gripped in darkness or is it that I have stepped into the light?

Irreconcilable differences.

Growing pains.

Cast off that which hinders - sad sad mourn - self-preservation.

Separation the only path to freedom, to life regained.

Sacred cauterization.

Searing pain - and soon, healing.

Cool, fresh health.

Let it be.

Mean Girls

2009-05-19T18:09:00.000-07:00

Again it happened. It happens annually. Callous women in my life do this thing which leaves me sucker-punched because I forget - and forgive - and forget. So it catches me in the ribs, then behind the neck, and down I go.

Salty tears blanket my face. I ask Tom, "Why?" Poor man. He cannot know the answer. And he knows I will never say anything to the malicious women who take pleasure in hurting me.

What they don't know, though, is that every time they play their cruel game I become a bit stronger as I seek solace. Tenaciously. Platitudes don't cut it: "You shouldn't be upset, you have God!" "Everything happens for a reason." "The battle is the Lord's."

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

I am upset because I have God and I know that this is an evil - dressed in church clothes - perpetrated by women who claim to be His children. It will never sit well with me. I'm looking for tables to overturn.

Happens for a reason? Does that mean just sit there? Sometimes. But maybe the reason is for me to see a blind spot of my own, to pursue the removal of it, to learn something about myself, about God, about the order of things, and thus to grow. At any rate it is not comforting to be told there's a reason. Of course there's a reason - there was a reason for the cross, too, and Jesus didn't just sit there with a stupid look on his face and call it 'faith'. He grappled and wept. Often grappling and weeping are called for. (Not that any of my so-called trials can begin to compare with Jesus'.)

Lord's battle, yes, but who does the fighting for me? Aren't I supposed to fight the good fight, run the race, fear and tremble my way to the finish line? Yes, there is an internal restfulness in knowing that ultimately all is well with my soul. But please don't tell me whose battle it is, I know full well; I'm in the middle of the battlefield. Look! Wounds! Blood! Arrows aplenty sticking out of my back! The battle may be the Lord's but it's obvious I am to participate.

So I continue the search. Tears dry up quicker these days. More arrows with which to defend fill my quiver, more understanding in my heart - I, too, offend obliviously and not - and truer compassion are the products of fighting this battle. Would I rather not fight, foregoing insight? Yesterday - in the midst of the pain I would have answered affirmatively. Today, the answer is 'no'. The inherent truth of the lesson impels me.

In the meantime I take solace in these words of Don Miguel Ruiz:

"If others say one thing, but do another, you are lying to yourself if you don't listen to their actions. But if you are truthful with yourself, you will save yourself a lot of emotional pain. Telling yourself the truth about it may hurt, but you don't need to be attached to the pain.

If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn't walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her. Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal."

[Emphases mine]

In the words of John Lennon:

"And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain,
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder."

Thanks, Deanna

2009-05-07T23:20:00.000-07:00

"Socrates was a loafer who cared for neither world history nor astronomy. But he had plenty of time and enough eccentricity to be concerned about the merely human, a concern that, strangely enough, is considered an eccentricity among human beings."

~~Soren Kierkegaard

Me. Pondering by the nearly full moon. Found this on Deanna's blog. Perfect.

Eccentric.

Why is it considered unconventional and slightly strange - eccentric - to be concerned about the merely human? When we are all...human?

Well, it just is, I guess.

A couple thousand years ago...and now.

Head shaking.

A Slight Turning of the Head to Catch It

2009-05-06T18:48:00.000-07:00

"It is worth our while to perceive that the final reason for Rome's defeat was the failure of mind and spirit to rise to a new and great opportunity, to meet the challenge of new and great events. Material development outstripped human development; the Dark Ages took possession of Europe, and classical antiquity ended."

~~Edith Hamiltion, The Roman Way

Look around and tell me it isn't so that material development has outstripped human development.

Alarming.

And it's happened before.

Will we, as a nation and as a people, follow the past into the same blind alley or will we comprehend the lesson in time? Is there time? Or is it too late?

"(Rome's) first necessity was for intellectual and spiritual insight, for wisdom...A narrow selfishness kept men blind..."
~~ Edith Hamilton

I believe in the power of the human spirit especially the spirit touched by the eternal God. I believe he has written past and future. All goes according to plan. And I believe we each have freedom to choose what kind of people we will be from within, our character, our values, our determinations, the use of our minds, hearts, and spirits for good or waste. And I believe that a trip out and about reveals that too many of us - believers and unbelievers alike - are choosing to waste our lives lining up and following the masses, doing as we're told even if we may gripe about it. Too many of us let others think for us, choose what we eat, what we buy, how we live. Even what we believe.

But I am heartened for I have witnessed awakenings even as the shallow material realm blares and blasts continually, ever closer, ever louder, ever harder to shut out. There are those who catch the still small voice on the breeze, who step out of line to carefully listen, who turn and follow the voice of the Shephard, the one who leads to Truth. There are those compelled to push against the current of hypnotized humanity, a few who hear enough, see enough to know that there, over there is a real thing, a true thing, a truth worth vigorously seeking.

Life turns on its head. Illusion dissipates. Priority changes. Understanding increases.

Ah, this is life. Life!

Hold on, you few, hold on with all you've got!

And press on.

Marvelous Human Bodies

2009-05-05T21:29:00.000-07:00

Circling our homefront early Sunday morning were marathon runners by the thousands. Mile 12 - 13 wrapped around our very neighborhood, the halfway point in the annual Eugene Marathon.

Tom, Sammy, and I were there to greet the athletes, cheering them on as they ran past our park and along our blossoming streets. An amazing feat of many feet running on hard surfaces, jarring, jarring, on and on.

Some runners playfully bayed at Sam trying to get him to howl. Some smiled at me as I photographed and told them they inspired me. Most were 'in the zone' focused on getting through. Some were sweat drenched, splotchy faced, shuffling along looking as I must have during the transition phase of childbirth - near panic, wild-eyed with thoughts of 'what in the world have I done and get me out of here!' One guy's tongue actually lolled out of his mouth. I didn't take his picture. I saluted him with admiration in my heart because he was accomplishing something I could not do right now, and he kept going. Good for him!

This digital clock marked the actual Halfway Point. Lots of encouraging cheers from the sidelines and smiling, pleased faces on the runners.

This little girl told her daddy that she wanted to give water to the runners and would he help her. 'You bet!' He and his wife filled containers of water, bundled up the little girl and her tiny siblings - still in jammies - and set up a little watering station. She was a very serious child and a source of refreshment for many a runner.

Witnessing this awesome display of commitment, strength, training, and perseverance during a beautiful - albeit drizzly - spring morning left Tom and me energized for church and a surprise visit from Ben and Sarah. A very pleasant day!

The human body is an amazing thing. Truly amazing! And the human spirit of compassion and kindness even more so.

(Sammy curled up in his bed and slept for a good long time afterwards! A dog's life, you know.)

Another Mike Quote

2009-05-01T15:20:00.000-07:00

"Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young."~~~Dorothy Canfield Fisher

Sophrosune

2009-04-19T14:48:00.000-07:00

External - beautiful, smooth, textured, sophisticated, confident, or ragged, ungainly, rough, plain.

Internal - a mystery to most, often even to the very object (or person) itself, but it can be known.

Slice kiwi open. Green, black specks, juicy, sweet, star-burst patterned deliciousness.

Or simply turn tulip and see the crucial heart of the matter.

Sophrosune.

According to Dr. Jack Crabtree: “The virtue of enlightened self-acceptance, a self acceptance based on an accurate understanding of who one really is, a self-acceptance which results in a humble and settled contentment with and pursuit of one’s destined role in human existence.”

I'm still learning about and accepting that which lies deep within. And without.

"God doesn't make junk."

I am a marvelous work of creation and that is why my evil is such a tragedy.

It's complicated.

Journey.

Easter Leftovers

2009-04-14T15:33:00.000-07:00

Easter Dinner leftovers are good.

Really good.

The girls call on their way home from French.

"What's for dinner, Mama? We're starving!"

"It'll be ready when you arrive."

To the fridge I go. Out come three foil-wrapped potatoes, two fat slices of rotisserie Rosemary Garlic Pork Loin (Sammy starts to beg), and seven crisp asparagus spears leftover from the bunches purchased for the feast.

Saute pan. Chunks of potato and pork dropped into bubbling butter. Add the snapped and chopped asparagus. A little kosher salt and pepper. Stir and stir and home are the girls.

"It's done! Change your clothes if you want, and wash up."

Hash scooped carefully slides onto little, pretty plates. Apple slices garnish. Welcoming hands receive the easy, hearty food with sighing lungs and smiling lips.

Yes. Easter leftovers are good.

And so are pleasant daughters!

Home Grown

2009-03-31T12:59:00.000-07:00

"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet. "

~~~James Openheim

Mojito Chicken

2009-03-28T20:49:00.001-07:00

Dark rum. Mint. Limes. Orange Juice. Garlic. Herbs and Spices. White Wine Vinegar. Chicken.

And more.

The process of putting together Mojito Chicken is not just cooking, not just creating, it's sensual.

When it's done right - with passion.

Aroma. Flavor. Color. Texture. Blended in harmony.

Fresh ingredients.

Fresh chicken rubbed with dry spices and herbs then marinated bursts with pungent fragrance. Muy bueno!

Ah, but why stop there? Soak these crazy kids overnight in rum, white wine vinegar, the juice of oranges and limes, garlic, and olive oil and the mingling and mischief increase.

Brown the chicken in coconut oil.

Bake it for awhile, glaze and broil it then serve it up with plenty of limes and warm glaze.

Spicy and tangy Mojito Chicken is more than a meal. It's an event...

...and a chance to spend time with family chatting, eating, and lingering over the goodness of life.

Aebleskivers

2009-03-05T22:11:00.000-08:00

A traditional Danish pancake, spherical in shape, often with apples inside, Aebleskivers are one of the special treats we look forward to each summer at the Scandinavian Festival.

Cassie has been begging for the special pan these treats require so she could cook up a batch anytime here at home. She saved up her money. The longed-for pan arrived today.

The batter is poured into the pan and right away the rotating begins. These have been rotated once.

Cassie and Caroline were smiling the entire time, I think. The house smelled divine. Here Cassie rotates the little pancakes with a bamboo skewer.

In this action shot you can see the skewer has stabbed and is rotating one of the pancakes.

Nearly done.

Removing the aebleskivers to a bowl where they will be dusted with powdered sugar. They are often served with jelly or jam as well. Though aebleskivers resemble doughnut holes, they have the lightness of pancakes. Very airy and delicious.

I didn't get any clear photos of them freshly dusted (too busy eating and enjoying them, I guess.) These are the cold leftovers. I have no doubt they'll be eaten tomorrow if I leave them on the counter!

Boy, did we have fun!

Bacon and Herbs Mac' 'N Cheese

2009-03-01T13:52:00.000-08:00

All my life I've waited for the perfect Macaroni and Cheese recipe to find me. Boxed stuff repulses me, sorry. I have particular tastes when it comes to cheese, too. But still, Mac and Cheese requires so much more than good cheese.

My mom puts a can of tomato sauce on hers, along with slabs of cheese, a little milk, and white flour pasta. The family goes wild with delight, replicating it in their own homes.

I never liked it, though. Sorry Mom. (She doesn't read my blogs - I'm safe.)
Yesterday, a recipe presented itself in Sunset magazine. I jumped. I shopped. I bought. I handled with care, prepared, and with the help of Tom and the girls we created what to us is the Best Macaroni and Cheese We've Ever Tasted, scorched bread crumbs and all. Imagine sinking a spoon down into this ramekin of pasta and finding creamy cheeses, fresh herbs, garlic, green onions, bacon, and Italian whole wheat macaroni.

You can find the recipe here. It is very quick to make - no sauces to stir up, fast broil time. My ramkins must be smaller than the recipe calls for as I had enough left over to fill five more of the little pots for another meal. Nice!

I'll be repeating this gem again and again, I'm sure!

'I Would Be Like Rome'

2009-02-22T08:55:00.000-08:00

"There's a power struggle going on across Europe these days. A few cities are competing against each other to see who shall emerge as the great twenty-first-century European metropolis. Will it be London? Paris? Berlin? Zurich? Maybe Brussels, center of the young union? They all strive to outdo one another culturally, architecturally, politically, fiscally. But Rome, it should be said, has not bothered to join the race for status. Rome doesn't compete. Rome just watches all the fussing and striving, completely unfazed, exuding an air like: Hey - do whatever you want, but I'm still Rome. I am inspired by the regal self-assurance of this town, so grounded and rounded, so amused and monumental, knowing that she is held securely in the palm of history. I would like to be Rome when I am an old lady." ~~ Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

Wish You Were Here

2009-02-13T20:19:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day from me to you. Hope you feel the love today.

Stirrings

2009-02-12T14:42:00.000-08:00

Hear them? Those quiet stirrings in your hibernated soul? Feel easy stretching, fluttering lids? Smell new air, year's morning? See bashful life-evidence entering? Taste the fresh, the promise, the hope?

See growth humbly pushing up and out from soil, branches,

Up from satiated belly to mind rises melodic creativity in tune with welcomed gifts from the natural world...of which I am part.

Gentle Spring's hopeful telegram, "ON MY WAY"

Corn Cakes

2009-02-10T21:19:00.000-08:00

From a borrowed library book entitled Spirit of the West I found these hearty corn cakes years ago. Every member of my family hugs me when I make them. An alternative to cornbread, these crunchy, golden, fried cakes are a perfect complement to bean dishes, Mexican food, or a leafy salad. Anything, really. We eat the leftovers cold as snacks. No sugar added, but corn is sweet.

Corn Cakes

2 c. yellow cornmeal
1/2 c. unbleached all-purpose flour
1 tsp. salt
2 Tbsp. corn oil (I use canola just because it's what I have on hand. Corn would probably enhance the corn flavor.)

Mix all. Stir in 2 cups boiling water. Stir well. Form into patties (10 - 12) and put into heated oil in skillet (medium heat). 3-5 minutes per side 'till golden brown. (Tonight I used a soup spoon and carefully spooned batter into the oil. They were a little smaller but I didn't have to wait for the batter to cool from the boiling water. They turned out perfectly. Forming patties is sorta messy.)

Why is it that preparing foods my family loves, food that nourishes their bodies and tickles their taste buds, gives me such pleasure? I love them. Perhaps this is a well-received way to show it - and that satisfies.

Cross-Referencing

2009-01-31T13:32:00.000-08:00

For those interested, I posted Mom's recipe for English Muffin Bread over on my other blog because it has a wider audience with which to share the joy.

Baking. The mood is here. The family is smiling, eating cautiously, moderation in everything, even tasty treats.

Almond Puff makes another appearance in the Kitchen of Cherie after over two decades in hiding.

Except for chocolate cupcakes which will probably disappear long before my camera clicks their picture, I'll be switching gears for Super Bowl Sunday. I have no idea who's playing this year. I do know that it's an excuse to have friends over to play awhile. I'm told some of the commercials are going to be in 3-D. We picked up a bunch of free 3-D glasses from Safeway for the occasion. How strange and silly we'll look! I'll bet we'll be smiling though.

Besides the cupcakes, I'll be making chili today and cornbread muffins tomorrow.

Will I be cooked and baked out by next week, I don't know. There's a huge bowlful of freshly made beef stock in the fridge that is begging to be made into something fine. Is French Onion Soup made with beef stock? I have to consult some recipe books. If I burn out, I'll freeze the stock so it can live to be cooked another day.

Happy Super Bowl Sunday, however you choose to spend it!

English Muffins

2009-01-28T22:16:00.000-08:00

Mom used to make these long, long ago. And they're easy. Why do I wait so long between batches?

Risen dough ready to punch down.

First side on the griddle cooking and browing.

Flipped over. Second side cooks.

English Muffins for breakfast!

With jam, anyone?

How I wish you guys were here! I'd LOVE to share these with you.

Two Delicatas and a Beefy Butternut

2009-01-26T15:01:00.000-08:00

Beautiful sunny day! Running errands in thirty-two degree weather Tom and I found we had dressed for fifty degrees. Sun fooled us. A brisk walk with Sammy left us rosy-cheeked, invigorated, and laughing.

Not ready to go indoors, Tom washed two of our cars while I cooked up a storm in the kitchen. Besides our big meal of the day I cooked up some of our CSA squash from last fall.

I smokey-salted, peppered, and steamed two delicata squash then served them with butter and basil next to fresh pasta covered with garlic roasted chicken in a wine-alfredo sauce I concocted myself. Green beans from last summer's garden brightened up the meal.

Delicata squash

Seasoned and ready to steam

Lunch!

While the squash cooked I picked the seeds out of the scooped pulp. Finger-painting has always been pleasurable for me and this was not much different. I toasted the seeds and we sprinkled them over our pasta at lunch. Gave a good crunch!

Before...

...and after.

After the big butternut cooled I scooped and then pureed it. Some I let drip for awhile for pie filling. The rest becomes soup tomorrow, along with the liquid given up by the pie-squash.

Roasted and cooling butternut

Scooped

Pureed

Squash draining in cheesecloth

Reserving liquid for soup

Tom will be happy to see this 'pumpkin' pie when he gets home tonight, though we won't enjoy it until tomorrow.

The Joy of Squash!

MLK Day

2009-01-19T19:08:00.000-08:00

In the spirit of holiday we ventured into the brisk sunshine for a hike.

I wanted to 'borrow' this...

...to get closer to this...

...but hiked on without getting my feet wet.

Tingly-legged and red-cheeked we returned to our home where I prepared winter foods for hungry bellies. While the chicken and root veggies were roasting I took my inspiration from friend, G (you know who you are;) and sauced the last of my locally harvested apples.

Peeling in the quiet, aromatic kitchen gave me a slice of time to myself.

No one bugs me when I'm doing a task they don't really like. I do enjoy the process, so it worked out perfectly.

From the box to the pot took less than 20 minutes.

With our herb roasted meal we enjoyed fresh applesauce.

With frost from last night still slicking up the shady spots, the oven-warmed kitchen was a pleasant place to meditate while doing a very human task - providing food for my family.

A pleasant day all the way 'round.

Times Three

2009-01-18T13:28:00.000-08:00

"Compassion is a weakness your enemies will not share with you."

"That's why it's so important. It separates us from them."

~~ from Batman Begins

Verification came in threes for me this week. A movie. A book. A lecture.

Forced into a situation where compassion was the hard road to take, I felt deep in my soul that any road besides would ultimately be worse.

Compassion is easy to know when lovingkindess is all around, when humility, ability, and gratitude accompany need.

But in the face of human evil - yes, evil - compassion can become less a calculation, a simple obligation, a societal trophy, or a natural reaction to innocent need, and more a test of courage, of ethics, of conviction, of personal integrity, and mostly of comprehension.

Compassion struggling to flicker amidst the dank, black fury of what is unholy - and continuing to burn, however faintly - does more than survive, it proves.

I always thought that compassion was a natural reaction to hurt, need, tragedy. Now I realize that yes, most of the time it is that. But, too, there is compassion that must be discovered in a place of deepest contemplation, soul-searching. Measured against the spirit and the temporal this conviction takes not the easy way but the hard.

When those few point and sneer, slander and scheme, still the listening heart knows there is more, so much more than the acceptance of mere human beings.

There is understanding.

For all have sinned.

All.

A Pastry Observation

2008-12-31T12:30:00.000-08:00

Cinnamon rolls.

They take a bit of time and patience, some kneading and punching, buttering and slicing. A watchful eye to be sure. Timing is everything.

Christmas morning - rolls are eagerly separated, warmed or not, and eaten by an expectant - yet grateful - family of six. Quickly. Gone. Poof! Like that. Leaving contented smiles on sticky faces.

Just like the whole Christmas season.

What new creation of life awaits in 2009?

Can't wait to find out!

Family

2008-12-23T13:42:00.000-08:00

What do you do when you've got a houseful of kids - er, um, young adults - who are hungry and giving you that look?

You get out the pizza ingredients and put the hungry people to work, that's what. Cassie taught Ben how to toss a pizza crust. He got the hang of it in short order.

Caroline observes Cassie and Ben's differing styles.

Cassie adjusts her dough...

...then layers on the sauce and cheeses.

This summer-grown ingredient punctuates the flavor.

Cassie's finished product! Voila!

While the chefs gleefully play with their food, I mean prepare supper, Joe relaxes, happy he doesn't have to make his own supper tonight.

Holiday from ordinary days, reconnecting, making memories.

Christmas.

Winter Solstice

2008-12-21T11:14:00.000-08:00

Sunrise: 7:44
Sunset: 4:36
Length of visible light: 9 hours, 59 minutes
Length of day: 8 hours, 52 minutes
Tomorrow will be 4 seconds longer

Today marks the Winter Solstice, an event often overlooked and generally undervalued.

Marking the reversal of the gradually lengthening nights and shortening days Winter Solstice brings comfort, for I know it marks the beginning of the return of energy and vitality to me. While I treasure winter's rest, tedious grows the challenge to fill dark hours with purpose - however pleasant and meaningful - and the effects of enforced semi-hibernation takes its toll on my emotions. Hope for gray-darkness to endure just long enough to offer recharging before politely stepping aside for Spring clarifies my fuzzy mind.

According to Wikipedia, "The winter solstice occurs at the instant when the Sun's position in the sky is at its greatest angular distance on the other side of the equatorial plane from the observer's hemisphere...The word solstice derives from Latin sol (sun) and sistere (to stand still)."

So, 'stand still' sun for a moment this day. I pause in my spirit to acknowledge the shift occurring on this amazing orb we inhabit.

Head lifted, torso straightened, countenance freshened, I shall endure, open to possibility and surprise.

Welcome.

Old Folks

2008-12-15T19:51:00.000-08:00

In her wheelchair she rolls her 85 year-old self out of her bedroom and down the hall of her loving son's home. Naked, she sits, arms pushing the wheels, her adult diaper on her head. Smiling. Her son and his wife's hearts weep.

Would she, at 45, have wanted it so?

She was fine until the doctor gave her some new meds. Then she, 'Went crazy,' her son tells us. 'Just changed almost overnight.'

Is there such a thing as living too long? Wouldn't it be better to die naturally, with dignity, than to exist in a body drugged and strung along? Isn't old age hard enough on all of us - those who have arrived at that stage and those who watch and help - without turning it into an unnatural, massive, soul-wrenching science experiment?

I'm reminded of lyrics, which may be recalled incorrectly, but the sentiment is there.

Makes me sad. Compassion wells up for us all.

____________

Old Folks

The old folks don't talk much
They talk so slowly when they do
They are rich they are poor
Their illusions are gone
They share one heart for two

Their homes all smell of pine
And old photographs
And an old fashioned song
Though you may live in town
You live so far away
When you've lived too long

Have they laughed too much?
Do their dry voices crack
Talking of things gone by?
Have they cried too much?
A tear or two still always seems
To cloud the eye

They tremble as they watch the old silver clock
When day is through
Tick tock, oh so slow
It says yes it says no
It says I wait for you

The old folks dream no more
Their books have gone to sleep
The piano's out of tune
The little cat is dead
And no more do they sing on a Sunday afternoon

The old folks move no more
Their world becomes too small
Their bodies feel like lead
They might look out a window
Or else sit it a chair
Or else they stay in bed

And if they still go out
Arm and arm, arm and arm
In the morning's chill
It's to have a good cry
To say their last good-bye
To one whose older still
And then they go home
To the old silver clock

When day is through
Tick tock, oh so slow
It says yes it says no
It says, I wait for you

The old folks never die
They just put down their heads
And go to sleep one day
They will hold each other's hands
Like children in the dark
But one will get lost anyway
And the other will remain
Just sitting in a room
Which makes no sound
It doesn't matter now
The song has died away
And echo's all around

You'll see them as they walk
Through the sun-filled parks
Where children run and play
It hurts too much to smile
It hurts so much
But life goes on for still another day
As they try to escape the old silver clock

When day is through
The clock goes so slow
It says yes it says no
It says I wait for you

The old old silver clock
That's hanging on the wall
That waits for us all

-------

The life cycle.

I ache.

And am reminded...

..."We simply dare not waste our youth." ~~ Keith Green

Food as Medicine

2008-12-08T11:45:00.000-08:00

In an optimistic effort to maintain perspective about the unfortunate gift some of our Thanksgiving guests left for us - sneezed and coughed-out germs that create a nasty bout of cold/bronchitis - I prepared food for my family that not only nourishes the body but brightens the spirit as well. Afterall, wellness begins in the mind, right? It may not end there, but it begins there.

Chicken soup made with lots of vegetables including roasted yams and parsnips bubbling in homemade chicken stock not only lent its aroma to our home, but soothed sinuses and bellies all around.

Norwegian Kringles offered holiday warmth and comfort. Part bread, part biscuit, and part cookie these little gems seemed to drive the fog away.

My daughters are getting well. Tom and I are keeping the illness at bay - so far. We can feel our bodies fighting that ominous tickle at the throat and headache behind the eyes.

After I made and served this meal I went back to bed to watch Simon Birch while I sipped orange juice and spring water in a candlelit room, on a bed with lots of fluffy pillows, thick wool socks around my feet.

It all helps.

'Bread and Roses'

2008-12-02T13:49:00.000-08:00

As we go marching, marching
In the beauty of the day
A million darkened kitchens
A thousand mill lofts grey
Are touched with all the radiance
That a sudden sun discloses
For the people hear us singing
Bread and roses, bread and roses

As we go marching, marching
We battle too for men
For they are women's children
And we mother them again
Our lives shall not be sweetened
From birth until life closes
Hearts starve as well as bodies
Give us bread, but give us roses

As we go marching, marching
We bring the greater days
For the rising of the women
Means the rising of the race
No more the drudge and idler
Ten that toil where one reposes
But the sharing of life's glories
Bread and roses, bread and roses

~~ James Oppenheim (1912)

Storm to Awaken the Senses

2008-11-20T14:02:00.000-08:00

Cassie, Caroline, and I sat looking at one another last evening. We all felt overwhelming sleepiness.

"I feel like I could go to bed now and sleep all night."

All three of us echoed that sentiment.

It was six o'clock.

The dog looked up at me with luminous brown eyes waiting for me put on shoes and grab his walking leash.

"We've got to fight this hibernation instinct or we are going to have too long a winter, girls," I said with all the strength of voice I could muster.

Resistance. And more resistance.

But I can ramrod notions.

Two grumbly teens changed out of warm flannel pants and into jeans, grabbed hoodies and a flashlight. I leashed up the now-exuberant pup, and we plodded outside.

And it felt good. Sleep stalled for a few hours, we ended up working out on the Wii Fit, the girls practiced their guitars, night fell, and we slept - soundly.

A storm whipped up overnight - probably the reason for the instinct to curl up and doze - leaving rain, wind, and bulbous clouds this morning, with the sun curiously peeking through the gray now and then.

Perky girls once again.

Invigorated family.

How I love a storm!

Out of the Blue

2008-11-18T15:09:00.000-08:00

Without naming any names, an acquaintance of ours was hit by a car while she was pushing her two year old in a stroller. The child is fine and home with her family. Our friend has a broken pelvis, scrapes, bumps, bruises, and I imagine is in a bit of shock.

I just happened to catch her name on the news this morning as I was walking through the living room. It's always stunning when the name in the news is familiar.

My heart goes out to M. and her family. Besides her husband, children, and extended family she has many friends who will be supporting her in the days to come. From what I know of M. she is a joyful, effervescent woman. I know she is creative, with a marvelous eye for beauty for she creates art that stirs my soul. She loves her husband, her kids, her friends, and it's a shame that this has happened to her.

The driver of the Yukon crossed over the busy street and was driving on the wrong side of the road. He hit her, crashed the SUV, got out, and ran away. Coward. The police know who he is, a man-hunt is on-going.

I say it over and over again, life is fragile and fleeting. Cherish, cherish, cherish the life around and within.

(Here is a link to M.'s husband's note of thanks on her blog where he describes the accident and the aftermath, along with his personal thoughts which are inspirational.)

UPDATE: Tom said he heard on the news that driver of the Yukon turned himself in tonight.

Perspective

2008-11-08T08:15:00.000-08:00

"Joy is an inward singing that cannot be silenced by outward negative circumstances. Yes, even when life seemingly is falling apart."

~~ Robert D. Foster

Spaces Between the Drips

2008-11-07T21:07:00.000-08:00

Warm temperatures and dry skies called us outside today. So much to do.

After rain smashes into flowers, squishes dirt into mud, and blows leaves off trees a garden droops like a hobo's hair in a rain storm. But that's okay. Rain is good.

And so is getting outside under a bright low sun for an afternoon.

We didn't get it all done. The mums were dead-headed so that new buds could meet the sun. The patio was washed of leaves and mud. Lavender pruned. Wilted summer plants snipped back. Weeds pulled.

And Cassie pulled up the last of the tomato plants and began the work of putting the once bountiful vegetable garden to bed.

She had fun playing in the mud, can you tell?

Tomorrow we tackle - the carpet of leaves!

Before the rains return.

Like a game of cat and mouse.

Happy Light

2008-11-04T13:17:00.000-08:00

One week of gray and rain and my mind turns to darker days ahead when S.A.D. will plague some of us who live out winter in sunless semi-darkness.

Some of you advised me last year to buy happy light bulbs, so I did.

Now I lie on my sofa, eyes closed, visualizing afternoons only weeks ago when I'd sit on my sunny porch in shorts and tank top, feet resting on a cushy chair, dark glasses on my nose, body soaking sunshine.

One does what one must to keep her spirits up.

It's never too early to begin preventative measures, no?

How I am enjoying the challenge of living season-consciously during months that normally sap my energy, crabbyizing me until spring returns bright new life.
Decades of 'doing it wrong' have instilled crusty, moldy habits - habits that feel as instinctual as breathing and eating. I'll root 'em out.

As Bob Dylan says, "He not busy being born is busy dying." Busy being born here - anticipate the unexpected!

Triple Chocolate Caramel Apples

2008-11-01T05:00:00.000-07:00

Caroline didn't feel like Trick-or-Treating this year. All four of our kids found their moment when dressing up and walking the neighborhood lost its appeal.

She handed out candy to all the little kids instead. "It was really fun! They're so cute."

The little girl who commented, "I like your house. It's pretty!" received two large Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

While the front door was busy opening and closing to little bumblebees, princesses, and military boys the kitchen was busy, too. I made homemade caramel with fresh milk, cream, dark corn syrup, and more. Then, I coated a bunch of apples.

After they hardened I coated two-thirds of the apples with melted milk chocolate. Back to the fridge for cooling. (First photo is after milk chocolate dip.)

Tom and Cassie added a coat of semi-sweet chocolate to all of the milk chocolate and/or caramel apples. (Second photo, Tom and Cassie melting white chocolate)

Once the goodies had chilled, Caroline watched as Tom and Cassie drizzled the ever-expanding apples with melted white chocolate.

More refrigeration. Thirty minutes. It's all we could stand.

We sliced an apple in half then into quarters, slicing out the core, and we each enjoyed a hunk.

The remaining treats? Noooo, we won't eat them all. There were over a dozen. Joe and Sam, Joe's friend, will be gifted with a couple. We shall present a couple more to the kind friends who came over to console the girls during the Sammy/pit bull ordeal. I'm sure the leftover coated fruit will find bellies to sweeten.

Hope your Halloween was safe and fun!

I'd write more but I think I need a little snack - say, an apple?

Cheese Genius

2008-10-23T14:32:00.000-07:00

In the deli department of one of our favorite markets, Market of Choice, there lies a huge wheel of cheese. Huge. The lady behind the counter, after pointing out all the delicious cheeses on sale during their Harvest Sale, told us that if we could guess the weight of the cheese wheel we'd win a small prize.

Tom asked if he could pick it up.

"Sure!"

He did. And as he was setting it down he said, "That weighs 85 lbs."

The lady's mouth dropped open. She reached under the counter for his gift, a small jar of jam.

She asked, "How'd you know? I mean, that's exactly what it weighs."

"Felt like a tire and tires are 85 pounds."

My husband the mechanic - and now enjoyer of a fine jar of rhubard jam, with almonds.

And he shares.

Hidden Meals

2008-10-21T13:39:00.000-07:00

I'm ever surprised - stupid me - that there are so many meals hidden in my food storage areas, in pieces here and there waiting for someone to put them together. It took me getting irritated at food prices - okay, outraged - before I rediscovered my stubborn streak, the one that fights back.

Tom's been after me for some time to dig out the old, frozen chicken parts, the pork chunks, and the nuts and berries, etc. from the back of the freezer. And to reacquaint myself with the mason jars of various dried beans, peas, and lentils in the pantry. He mentioned as he walked out the door for work yesterday, "Is there something that can be done with these bananas before we have to throw them out?" While his helpful little comments normally have a negative effect on me - down-side of the stubborn streak - I've taken his pleadings to heart in an attempt to strike-back at rising grocery prices.

I've had the ability to cook and bake for a long long time, yeah sure. But after twenty-eight years of husband and children, well, it sort of loses its appeal now and then. Especially when my chore list remains long, responsibilities demand, and contemplation is taken seriously.

But occasionally - especially when the seasons change - the mood strikes!

And this time it struck a double-whammy! Seasonal cravings coupled with high grocery costs.

I really had no choice. I, being who I am, took up the sword and sliced the grocery bill down by using what I already have to feed my family. Swoosh! And I cleaned out the freezer making room for more good harvest delights. Swoosh again!

The mood will pass. It always does. But this time I have pictures to remind me of the satisfaction. Maybe I'll be motivated again sooner. And this time I have a freezer full of things I normally would have been too preoccupied - lazy - to make up ahead or save from the garden.

I think I'm changing.

Hmm.

Crisp Weather/Chicken Soup

2008-10-21T13:12:00.001-07:00

It rained yesterday. Nice! I pulled a bunch of chicken pieces from the freezer and made stock.

The girls and I rolled out a batch of rustic pasta last evening, spreading it out to dry overnight.

This morning as I skimmed the fat off the refrigerated stock I remembered that our last CSA box included purple potatoes. Why not make chicken soup with purple spuds for fun? Over the weekend Cassie picked the last of the green beans. As I didn't have any peas, I added a few of the late bloomers instead.

The soup foamed and dripped a little onto the stove as it simmered away. Oh well, it still smelled divine.

This afternoon, right before the girls left for French class, and before Tom headed for work, we sat down at the table over steaming bowls of chicken soup, and watched the gray fogginess of a chill October day creep over the butte and into our world.

Hot soup and a drippy day.

Perfect timing!

Gathering Pieces

2008-10-20T18:49:00.001-07:00

What do you do with these too soft to peel and snarf bananas?

And what about these remnants of walnuts crammed to the back of the freezer? Have they outlived their usefulness?

They can still contribute. Yes, they can. They may look used up and worthless, old and spotted, too soft, but together they create a whole new food!

A gentle touch finds good fruit inside...

..a new banana form. Smashed! Pile up the nuts and chop chop chop.

Introduce the duo to a few fresh friends.

Send them on a cruise to a warmer climate.

Sun tanned, bananas and nuts, a whole new offering.

Beautiful.

Never underestimate the value deep inside each and every one of us.

Apres Summer

2008-10-09T18:45:00.001-07:00

I know I'm the most boring blogger ever. My posts are about desserts and soups, harvesting and preserving, and the joy that these simple things bring to me. Complete, peaceful joy.

I'm in a very relaxed, content place right now. Embracing the new season, letting the chill wind brrrr me, letting the warm house toast me, and letting the satisfaction of a summer well-spent console me. l rode fearlessly on the crest of summer this year, rode her from spring to fall, noticing her nuances, making time to stop and making time to participate, squeezing out all that I could of her loveliness, her offerings, her opportunity and poetry. It has left me very mellow.

It's boring to read about, I know. But these simple posts reflect my experience, my feeling.

I hope it's not the calm before the storm.

I hope it's just me...learning to listen, to absorb, and to be grateful.

We'll see.

Hazelnuts Revisited

2008-10-06T18:54:00.000-07:00

Food tastes better when cooked or baked from scratch, yourself. Even better when some effort and sweat have been expended gathering ingredients. Whether foods are grown from seeds in backyard gardens, foraged from the wilderness, squeezed from a goat or cow, or cracked in a family circle around the kitchen table, patience is necessary and satisfaction guaranteed.

Uncertain economic times turn my mind to solutions. How to feed my family real food while staying within an affordable budget. How to get the most out of what is available to us. Local berries, nuts, CSA boxes of produce, local grass-fed beef, local dairy products, and stores that stock their shelves with fresh ingredients grown kindly are a few wonderful solutions.

It's not hard to eat close-to-the-earth foods. But one must be dedicated - and patient.

My latest dessert creation began with an idea and recipe from a friend. The rest was up to us. To make this maple-hazelnut pie we gleaned nuts from a local farm, dried, cracked, and roasted them, then chopped them with a sharp knife. I could have purchased nuts from a bulk food bin, but I wouldn't know where they'd been grown, they'd be stale, and well, I would have to pay for them. A little effort and family time spent harvesting and processing filberts produced more than a bowl of nuts. It produced bonding, joy, laughter, exercise - and satisfaction.

While I was putting the ingredients together according to the instructions I thought of my Canadian friend, WC, who shared this recipe on her blog. It looked so good I had to give it a whirl. To spend time in the kitchen thinking about her and all the wonderful foods she prepares and shares, the art expressed in every dish and photo, well, it made me feel pretty good. Sharing with someone I've never met but who has a common interest in healthy edibles prepared with joy gave me a very pleasant afternoon.

My pie just came out of the oven. We'll let it cool and sit overnight, to be sampled tomorrow. For now it is a solid reminder sitting on the counter offering its sweet, nutty aroma not only to our household but the neighborhood as well, an enjoyable reminder to me that preparing food can be art, it can be responsible, it can be affordable, it can be proudly shared across nations - and it can be fun.

It's just a pie, sure. But it means friendship to me. It means time spent with Tom and the girls on a pleasant Sunday afternoon. It means pampering my family with whole tasty treats. It means there is an aspect of life - eating - that is too often unappreciated, hurried, even toxic when it can be so... so much more.

While I can't cook treasures for every meal I can present them often. It's a choice and it makes a difference to family and friends - and to me.

(Bowlful of hot, roasted filberts, exploding with flavor!)

Chocolate Hazelnut Biscotti

2008-10-06T11:22:00.001-07:00

Craving hazelnut biscotti but unable to find any fresh enough for me in stores, I decided to make my own. Finding my freezer void of the chosen nuts, I schlumped into the house, defeated.

"Let's go glean some from the farm!" suggested an energetic Tom. Dog and kids loaded into the car, we headed for the nuts.

After drying them in the oven we began our cracking party.

Once we'd cracked enough for my cookie recipe I began stirring up the dough and forming the logs.

Nuts that weren't added to cookie dough were roasted in the oven, cooled, and frozen for later use. It was hard to not grab handfuls and eat them all!

After baking and cooling the logs, I sliced 'em up and baked them again.

Craving satisfied!

(Thanks, WC, for spurring my creativity with your Hazelnut Pie!)

Color of Autumn

2008-09-30T19:33:00.001-07:00

Lower in the sky the sun shines less warm, the days begin and end later and sooner. Why is it that chili comes to mind? I don't know, but it did and the spicy food, made with my garden's peppers, tomatoes, and herbs comforted perfectly.

Capturing the sunshine and holding onto it for a little while these flowers cheer like a 'happy light" for a few more weeks.

Our CSA box gave stark proof that, no matter how I may resist, summer is over and autumn is upon us. I love autumn. I love summer. I am a hanger-on. I sit on the flower-bedecked sun porch and let the last hours of sunshine heat my face, arms, and legs. I don't worship, but I adore. I do adore Apollo on his shorter race across the sky, flaming brightly, mercifully giving me a few more sunny days.

It makes it easier to let go when one is let down slowly.

Indian summer.

Bon Vivants

2008-09-21T19:31:00.000-07:00

Leeks were part of our CSA box Tuesday. Having never explored leeks myself I asked the kids what I should create with them. Joe, my Europe-traveling son, immediately said, "Vichyssoise, of course."

A little research.

Ingredients gathered.

Leeks softened in butter. Garlic added.

Potatoes, broth, softened leeks, thirty minutes simmering.

Blenderized and voila! Vichyssoise garnished with freshly snipped chives from the garden.

Heated crusty bread and we are feeling our French roots today!

Bon appetit!

Cascade Burning

2008-09-17T18:28:00.000-07:00

While the Cascade Mountain forests burn east of here - sad, so sad - the smoke visits our skies. And parches throats, and irritates eyes, and lays ash over everything.

But still, there is beauty to be had.

Jolly harvest Man-in-the-Moon colored by smoke.

Red sky at morning...

Sam glows in early morning hours.

Smoke creeps across the late afternoon sky.

Like playful fairies gold lollygags on walls...

..and on furniture.

An evening promise that the sunset will be no less spectacular.

This entire gilded day was surreal. Weird. An inward day of unusual beauty and understanding.

In the end, a cool fall wind blew the hot sticky away, yet the smoke remains.

I hope and pray the firemen are safe, the fires die down, and citizens can return to unharmed homes once again.

September Sand Storm

2008-09-10T03:16:00.000-07:00

Weather disappointment gave way to curious natural discoveries once the wind at the beach died down enough to allow beach combing.

Normally the sand dune hills at this location are smooth, interrupted only by foot prints.

We called these interesting formations 'lids'.

Pointing up from the sand these jags created seas of their own along the beach.

More common during normal windy conditions these ripples had the look of a meticulously raked Buddhist sand garden.

Never before have we seen these 'toad stool' sculptures rise up from the sand. Marvelous creations of wind, sand, and moisture!

Close-up view of a sandy toadstool, sand still rolling and scraping around it, continuing the artful process.

The sea churns.

Fascination erupted at a new sight for Caroline as she observed sand shifting in the air as it blurred her view of the Pacific.

Beauty has many forms. To be open to them - to allow their introduction - is to discover deeper joy, strange new forms of Divine Art.

In the end, we were not at all sorry for the storm. Instead of coming home with only the usual beachy views of loveliness we were also privy to secret gardens heretofore unknown to us. We came away with a new refreshment, a rejuvenation blown in and through us with the wind.

Five Dozen Ears

2008-09-01T16:57:00.001-07:00

In the spirit of Embracing the Seasons I offer a glimpse of our family's annual corn harvest party.

Pick it at the local farm.

Heat up the water.

Like a little hot tub for cobs.

Ice bath!

Out the kitchen door to the table where Tom removes the sweet kernels.

Cassie and Caroline bag it for the freezer.

"It's fun to do this every year, Mommy!"

Corn.

Huckleberries - August Delight

2008-08-31T23:58:00.001-07:00

Funny how certain aromas conjure up vivid mental images of days gone by.

Huckleberries bring my grandparents right back to me - lucid day dreaming.

I cherish the experience. Every time.

Huckleberry picking yielded berries enough for muffins along with a good conversation with Grandma and Grandpa.

The berries did most of the talking.

Sweet!

Ratatouille

2008-08-28T17:40:00.000-07:00

Simple pleasures...

...from the garden...

...to the kitchen...

...to the belly!

Summer Wane

2008-08-19T19:59:00.001-07:00

Basil from my garden...

...becomes pesto for my family!

The bounty of harvest continues.

Whole, slow food.

Boy am I going to miss summer!

First Things

2008-08-18T23:02:00.000-07:00

Live and breathe. Experience. PAY ATTENTION. Learn.

Then impart wisdom if it comes your way. Then talk or write or in other ways share.

But first, yes, first let life be lived.

The day-to-day easy and hard.

The phases.

Joy and crashing defeat.

Understanding and bitter confusion.

Out there...or in here.

But please, please, please when comfort is needed, answers cried for don't spurt forth pretty sounding words, cleverly constructed phrases, or miles of blather from a frozen moment from which you cannot escape and call it helpful wisdom. It is trifle. It is granulated sugar. It is sickening. It nurtures not but suffocates, stifles, retards growth.

Fresh life requires fresh telling - potent observation gleaned the hard way. Wisdom which alters a course, understanding which enlightens, words which aid, silence which emboldens.

First live life. Robustly. Enthusiastically. Courageously, nearly with abandon opening the way for experience in mad doses uplifting and then submerging, wrapping jewels within episodic existence.

Wisdom is born.

Witchy Woman

2008-08-11T11:38:00.000-07:00

As I tend to my herbs - pruning them, drying the flowers and leaves, using them in recipes and salads - memories of the fictional character Peg Bowen of Avonlea linger in my mind.

Peg was an herbalist but the townspeople thought she was a witch.

Didn't the pioneers, the native people, and the ancients know the healing and medicinal properties of plants and roots?

Sure they did.

I know a little bit, just a very little bit.

I remember Peg and Archie Gillis butting heads over and over. He called her a witch. She played to his prejudice for fun, "A curse on you, Archie Gillis!" He'd blanch, tuck tail, and hurry away from her and her curse.

How something preciously harmless can be misconstrued as menacing is a sad telling of the ignorance we all possess in one form or another.

If it's witchy to adore the calming scent of lavender, or the pungent taste of basil, to be soothed by camomile tea, or induced to eat hearty from rosemary's aroma in a stew then call me a witch.

I won't curse you.

I promise.

It's encouraging to witness the return of herbalism, not that it ever really went away. It's gaining favor with a wider slice of the population, with those of us who are leery - read scared to death - of all the fine print/side effects of modern medicine.

Perhaps if we can overcome our preconceived notions about God's natural remedies as we re-evaluate our dependance on the drug industry we may not only become healthier, wealthier, and wiser, but we might live more balanced lives for treating nature with nature as much as we are able.

Day One

2008-08-08T19:12:00.000-07:00

The work on the addition is officially completed. Of course there's still work to be done around the house. That's normal.

So I guess we are normal again.

Feels......odd.

:D

Clear Waters

2008-07-26T10:36:00.001-07:00

On our winding way up the mountain to the old Bohemia Mining site we stopped to cool our toes in this stream. Clear cool water. How is it that fresh running water washes over my toes and my soul at the same time?

I am calm. I am relaxed. My words are balanced now, some offered 'out there', most remaining inside, germinating, growing like vegetables and flowers in spring gardens. Not quite ready for harvest.

My heart wears a peaceful face these days. Carefree. Optimistic. Satisfied.

Is it summer's kindness? Is it recent events? Is it the sun absorbing into my skin?

I'll take it, whatever the cause.

God speaks to me through the seasons and he's speaking peace today.

Jesse's Art

2008-07-23T23:05:00.001-07:00

My little cousin is very creative. He's five. He enjoys putting objects together with much thought then studying how they look.

He asked me to take a photo of this creation of his and of course I did.

Jesse is a little master. He lives in the moment, embraces thoughtful living, and communicates his imagination well.

I doubt he knows how much he teaches me every time I am with him. Such creativity, such intelligence, such engagement with life all around. I kid you not, his eyes shine with the joy of discovery. It's amazing.

In the spirit of celebrating the individual and beauty as art in the every day let me just say...I love this kid.

CSA Box

2008-07-15T17:26:00.000-07:00

Each Tuesday we pick up our CSA box in a friendly woman's garage five blocks from our home. CSA stands for Consumers Supporting Agriculture.

The local farm which picks, packs, and delivers our weekly box of goodies to the cool corner of this kind volunteer's garage has this mission statement on their website:

"We are a diversified organic family farm working to nurture the earth, educate our communities, and provide healthy food and healing herbs. We invite you to join us."

They've been true to their mission. We've been produce-educated and delightfully provided for since the first of June.

Here's how our Tuesday pick-up looks:

Cassie checks our name off the list.

These boxes are identically filled with produce for all who have signed up for the CSA program for the summer.

Cassie and I open the lid and peek in, breathing deeply, and sighing at the sight and scent of lovely food packed so carefully for us. (You can't see everything from this photo but today we received parsley, carrots, cauliflower, lettuce, spinach, salad greens, zucchinis, blueberries, strawberries, and green onions. Each week is a different variety.)

Cassie transfers the produce from the farm's tub to our bags for transport home.
"Don't mind if I do!" Picked fresh this morning, these will not last long around here! Dessert of the healthiest sort.

Here's a peek into one of our bags.

No, Sammy didn't wait in a hot car. He and Caroline strolled the shady side of the street while Cassie and I picked up the goods. Each week his beagle nose sniffs at the bags like crazy.

A wonderful experience this has been for my entire family and me! Every Tuesday is like a little Christmas.

I hope you can find a CSA program near you, if you haven't already.

It's fantastic - on so many levels!

Gifts of Summer

2008-07-09T20:11:00.000-07:00

I remember my grandpa saying grace: "And thank You for these gifts which we are about to receive."

Besides fresh produce from our tiny garden here at home, we receive a variety of seasonal vegetables and fruits each Tuesday from a local organic farm. Bounty! Pac Choi is one of our favorites...

...because of the soup we stir up.

Easy to make and beautiful to look at, this soup satisfies the senses and the belly.

Add to soup a garden fresh salad - and I mean garden fresh for most of it we harvest just a few moments before dinner time - and the table is set with gifts about to be received by hard-working men and women deserving of only the best. My family.

How I enjoy sharing the gifts of summer!

Another Gem from Mike

2008-07-02T18:58:00.001-07:00

"Right actions for the future are the best apologies for wrong ones in the past."
~ Tyron Edwards

This quote from Mike has special meaning for me these days. When one has many fingers in many pies well, there's bound to be wrong actions now and then. Learning lessons today from missteps along the way - whether mine or another's - is the best prevention for slip-ups tomorrow.

No one wants life to be disagreeable, miserable, just plain heavy. No. Bright moments are necessary especially when the burdensome ones are really really hard. Getting it right now and then encourages my soul and soothes my weary emotions creating relief. And I hope it expresses to those I've wronged in the past that I've felt remorse enough...to change.

Thanks, Mike, for another timely quote! It helps.

Visiting Lyrics

2008-06-26T16:49:00.001-07:00

"The moment at hand is the only thing we really own."
~~ John Denver

From Mike in Maine

2008-06-20T22:34:00.001-07:00

"Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants."
~Epicurus

Thanks for the quote, Mike!

Gettin' Squirrelly

2008-06-19T07:47:00.001-07:00

In our youngest, tiniest, new birch tree the squirrel perched, making a late afternoon snack out of the catkins found hanging from the spindly branches. Cassie snapped these photos through the window while standing motionless in the living room. Little Squirrel remained for several minutes before he scampered off in search of new and exotic foods in our yard and beyond.

After removing our three ancient, rotting Thundercloud Plum trees over a year ago we wondered if we'd ever have squirrels in trees in our front yard again.

Guess that question's been answered!

It's a sign that our life is returning to us after our long remodel project. And we welcome the arrival of the new and familiar.

Postures of the Heart

2008-06-14T09:06:00.000-07:00

"If you want to change the world, first try to improve and bring about change within yourself. That will help change your family. From there it just gets bigger and bigger. Everything we do has some effect, some impact." ~~ Dalai Lama

Greeting me with a gently welcoming invitation to join her in the pleasure of a comfortable Saturday the sun's finger-rays warmed my face, sneaking a crack of light into my darkened sleeping space, enticing and imploring me to awaken from slumber. "A pleasant day is forming. Interested?"

Gentle and alluring is a temperate sun, friendly energy. Flower blossoms follow its path, vegetable plants soak it in, beagles bask, children laugh and play, waters sparkle. Shadows maneuver, contrast. Men remove their shirts and glisten. Women stretch out white winter limbs and sigh. The living is easy.

A mellow yellow sun's influence on an Oregon June morning reminds me of kindness, soothing yet energizing, encouraging, flowing out and into, expanding goodness, praise, support, life out and out and out in ever-widening circles. My mind and body surge with creative freedom. Humble people, pure in heart, maturely sensitive, lovingly patient induce courage and harmony.

As I ponder this comparison my thoughts naturally turn to opposites. A tornado, a ferocious tornado has the opposite effect. Vegetation is ripped out of its soil, destroyed. Children run in terror, seeking solid shelter. Waters are attacked, splayed, muddied, madly disrupted. A tornado forces itself where it is not wanted, upsets, demoralizes, harms with its frenetic energy. Constriction. Destruction. Unharnessed, the energy of a tornado is wasted.

A rampant tornado reminds me of competitive, insecure, pushy people who, in their glory-hound mindsets, stir everyone up. Demoralizing behavior saps energy, divides relationships. Arriving with chaos in their hands, ambitious motivation in their hearts they leave us dizzy in their wake. Little rag dolls.

It is the opposite of kindness. It is inconsiderate, mean.

If the motivation for a deed is self-serving does the good that would be done ultimately end up being bad? We intuitive humans can tell the difference between altruism and narcissism. Discomfiture from living amidst such negative ambition feels like a tight scratchy jacket. While it may warm us, we squirm. "Get this off of me." Deceit. Manipulation. Unforgiveness. Bullying and condescension. Such patronizing rejection shuns, discourages, harasses. Can genuine good, lasting good follow?

It's true that, "Everything we do has some effect, some impact." Life-affirming impact like a moderate sun and kindness. Or demoralizing impact such as a tornado or self-seeking busyness.

"Kindness is the key to peace and harmony in family life." ~~ Dalai Lama

This morning I'm thankful for the sun's inspiration, reminding me of my influence on family, friends, and strangers alike. Good or bad, helpful or hurtful. It will be one or the other.

Today, I choose harmony.

It's a better fit.

Together Old and New

2008-06-09T12:36:00.000-07:00

"You know that elderly people are very sad when they have to live separately from their children and grandchildren. This is one of the things in the West that I do not like. In my country, [Vietnam] aged people have the right to live with the younger people. It is the grandparents who tell fairy tales to the children. When they get old, their skin is cold and wrinkled and it is a great joy for them to hold their grandchild, so warm and tender. Nowadays the elderly have to go to a home where they live only among other aged people. Just once a week they receive a short visit, and afterwards they feel even sadder. We have to find ways for old and young people to live together again. It will make all of us very happy." ~~ Thich Nhat Hanh

"Once there is seeing, there must be acting. Otherwise, what is the use of seeing?" ~~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Up a Tree

2008-06-03T18:31:00.000-07:00

Stuck on a thick limb high in our silver maple tree was a neighbor's white and black tuxedo cat. We kept an eye on him while we mowed the lawns. And while we trimmed the lawns. While we thinned the garden vegetables and potted flowers for the sun patio. And while we had dinner...and dessert.

"He's scared. He's not coming down."

"Nope."

Tom happened to be wearing a fire equipment shirt he was given for one of the many seminars he's attended as a mechanic. He was the obvious choice for cat-rescue-hero. Before the kids and I could make our decision official Tom shinnied up the tree. Besides some good exercise his efforts proved futile. Kitty cat was out of reach and climbing higher with each rescue attempt.

Sam stretched tall, sniffing, letting an occasional beagle bay reverberate from his throat. "Unacceptable to have a strange cat in my yard!"

The cat descended and fled by the time red sky at morning appeared. Caroline checked.

For over a month I've felt like that feline, up a tree and not knowing how to descend to my normal environment. Frozen. But, like the cat, I'm down again. The world makes sense and I'm not afraid anymore.

For now.

Delicacy of Trust

2008-05-29T15:06:00.000-07:00

"Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement." ~~ Alfred Adler

You want to trust people. You do. And every benefit of doubt is offered along with a clean slate.

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved." ~~ George MacDonald

"I trust everyone. I just don't trust the devil inside them." ~~ from The Italian Job

Trust has to be earned and maintained. When it's abused it takes years or a lifetime to be regained. In some cases time alone is not enough to restore broken trust. Sincerity and change must reside in the heart.

"Trust him not with your secrets, who, when left alone in your room, turns over your papers". ~~ Johann Kaspar Lavater

"Trust everybody, but cut the cards." ~~ Finley Peter Dunne

Trust broken leads to disappointment, turmoil, estrangement.

"You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough." ~~ Frank Crane

"Love all, trust few." ~~ William Shakespeare

My grandma used to say to her children, "I trust you, but I'm keeping my eye on you."

"It is better to suffer wrong than to do it, and happier to be sometimes cheated than not to trust." ~~ Samuel Johnson

Twilight's Offering

2008-05-28T11:20:00.000-07:00

There was a moment yesterday when joy - I think it was joy - welled up high in me and rang the bell. For a few tender moments my emotions floated freely, positively, my mind found center and lingered there, my spirit somehow understood that in the end everything is going to be okay. One way or another.

Occurring in the kitchen - don't most epiphanies happen there? - my moment of serenity surprised me offering a satisfying eye-closing, shoulder-lifting moment to my somewhat wearified soul. The kids were contentedly slicing long, French sandwich buns, passing around the tasty deli meats and cheeses, sharing, pouring fresh milk for one another all around the extended cutting board where delicious sandwich concoctions are occasionally created.

We were relaxed. Even Tom, the resident hyper-human, bore a soothing countenance as he leaned against the counter waiting his turn, arms and legs casually crossed. No hurry.

Visible outside the nearby kitchen window a sky-filling bank of heavy, nearly black storm clouds rolled and gleamed as twilight began overtaking the sky. Imminent rain's scent seeped through the screen, flavoring the air. Intoxicating aroma.

Another day's work accomplished ahead of a storm. Supper earned, rest deserved. Activity replaced with tranquility.

For those brief moments and for the evening to follow life's trials left me alone. Relieved. Refreshed. Refocused.

I slept well last night in our new room. Burdens found other far-away shoulders to stoop, or maybe they dissipated into the storm clouds to drip gentle rain over the garden this morning.

I'll take it; the cessation of bedevilment. The rain. The quiet.

The gentle reminder that for those who would seek her, notice her, feel her, illumination's refreshment can be known.

Freedom to Recover

2008-05-24T09:28:00.000-07:00

"True love of oneself - or another - does not require a person to measure up."

"The body is strong and the world generous. Both can accommodate error after error as they patiently await the time of healing."

~~ from The Yoga of Eating, by Charles Eisensfein

Freedom is found in the first quote. The freedom to cease trying to measure up to standards I don't even believe in.

Hope is found in the second quote. Hope that strength, generosity, and patience will hold out long enough for frazzled emotions to catch up and join in the process - of healing.

...And the Fullness Thereof

2008-05-17T08:22:00.000-07:00

The sea. This early morning, on the breezy air wafting into my wide-open bedroom window, the same wisps which finger through my hair, on this I catch a scent of the ocean. Ah. There it is again. Gigantic body of water, salt, plants and aquatic animals, an hours drive west of me and still its scent carries on the winds to my nose. Glorious scent that soothes.

When I open my eyes I see the first opening peony of May. The low morning sun rays play amidst its petals - hide and seek. Crimson and gold. Over there I see three tiny green tomatoes shaded under leaves and delicate yellow flowers. Nearby radish leaves boldly burst through the soil while across the garden peas and beans slowly unfurl leaf sprouts while the lettuce tip-toes in a diagonal path.

Swaying gently with no trace of resistance the tiger lily's long lime-green grassy leaves reflect the yellow sun. Freedom. Their orange-striped, bugle-shaped flowers remain hidden, secret, enfolded in the ancient growth order. Soon. Soon.

Far away a steady train rumbles, its normally mournful resonance carrying a cheerier note today. "Warm sunny May! Life everywhere! Enjoy. Live!"

Mr. Perky Squirrel scatters along the fence while the beagle glances up from his comfortable position on the cool grass. No barking today. No chase. Permission granted. Scatter all you want.

In between the worry of yesterday and the decisions of tomorrow lies today, plump with life, massaging fingers of cool-warm air, friendly foliage, beauty. Peace. Serene moments free of human frenzy, abounding in nature's rhythm, cradling the weary, energizing, calming, clarifying.

He does not give us more than we can bear.

Reconnecting

2008-05-13T11:58:00.001-07:00

A family member loses independence, needs help. We gather together bringing our experience, strength, compassion, and love to the scene. Decisions are made. Aid is given. Plans are laid. Phone calls made.

Then, an inevitable lull in the activity. "Have you had lunch?" a fatigued sister asks her older brother. "Nope." And off we go with our spouses to a restaurant where frustrated, weary medical discussion gives way, happily, to better times. To youth. To memories of times shared. To fun!

Laughter, energy restored from pleasant reliving and good food. Waiters and busboys shoot curious looks our way.

Exhaustion gives way to relaxation. We can go another mile because we have gone many before and we know. We know each other. We know our hearts. No matter what is happening we have a connection.

And it's good.

As good as that coconut my brother hammer-smashed while I watched in delight!

Mysterious this thing called life. And worth the effort. So worth it.

Remember the Moon

2008-05-04T06:48:00.000-07:00

I have to remind myself these days that, just as the moon remains complete though I see only half of it, life is as right as it can be even though half of it seems confusing, unknown, dark right now.

It's easy to become enveloped in the emotions of life - the stress, strain, unexpected happenings that sucker punch and leave one breathless. Simple to want to crawl under the covers and stay there until someone signals the all clear.

But when I am the one who must determine when it's all clear I have to get up, take one step at a time, and remember that times like this end eventually. Serenity will be restored. For awhile.

Life may change. Adjustments may be necessary. I can carry on. I must. I want to.

And I must remember the moon - always fully where it's supposed to be, even when shadows overcome.

Just like life.

Sunshine and Strawberries

2008-04-26T18:37:00.000-07:00

No more snow, huh uh. Today we have sunshine and upper 60's. Just now I caught a whiff of cool air that, to me, smelled of summer. Like a holler across the valley that she's on her way. On her way.

Some news reports are saying food may become scarce and its prices skyrocket.

I don't know if it's scare tactics, misinformation, or true.

I do know that planting our vegetable garden this weekend feels like a precious opportunity to take matters into our own hands. Cassie weeded the strawberries today, I put fresh compost around them, and Caroline helped, as you can see in the photo. Tomorrow we'll plant the new veggies next to the tomato plants Tom set into our little plot of ground.

It seems like a little thing, planting a tiny garden. Knowing we are taking steps to be independent seems pretty big, though. Encouragement. Relief. Even happiness. Connecting with the soil, the seasons, nature at her best.

The anticipation of fresh produce on the way only heightens the joy of gardening.

And knowing that we are doing something to care for ourselves, that gives a real and certain satisfaction.

Snow Storm of April 20, 2008

2008-04-23T11:17:00.000-07:00

Feeling more comfortable presently about putting these babies in the outdoor soil of our tiny garden.

Earth Day - April 22

2008-04-21T16:44:00.000-07:00

"Celebrate morning
The cry of a loon on a lake in the night
The dreams that are born in the dawn's early light
Celebrate morning
Celebrate living
The laughter that sings in the heart of a child
The freedom that flies at the call of the wild
Celebrate living
Celebrate evening
The stars that appear in the loss of the sun
Whispering winds, 'We are one, we are one'
Celebrate evening
Celebrate Earth day, every day
Celebrate land and sea
Celebrate you and me
Celebrate Earth day, every day"

~~Words and music by John Denver

"Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend your strength
To that which you wish to be free from
Fill your lives with love and bravery
And we shall lead a life uncommon.

There are plenty of people who pray for peace
If praying were enough it would have come to be
Don't ever let your words enslave no one
And the heavens will hush themselves to hear
Our voices ring out clear with sounds of freedom

Come on you unbelievers
Move out of the way
There's a new army coming
And we're armed with faith
To live we must give
To live."~~ Jewel, Life Uncommon

More Earth Day photos here.

'Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed'

2008-04-21T15:39:00.000-07:00

Tom and I just saw the documentary Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed.

I recommend everyone see it.

It asks good questions.

It's informative.

And challenging.

No matter what your worldview.

Any honest intelligent individual can learn something from the movie.

This blog is about celebrating.

I'm celebrating freedom of speech.

Well Done, Ben Stein!

Of Sundials and Other Beastly Instruments of Time

2008-04-14T13:01:00.000-07:00

On July 7, 1981 my firstborn son, Ben, was born.

I called my boss and told her I wouldn't be in for work that day, or any other day. She laughed and congratulated me. She knew it was coming, my 'retirement' at twenty-four.

I took my watch off and placed in it my jewelry box with a satisfied smile playing around my mouth.

I belonged to me again - and to this baby, and to my husband. The clock would have to proceed without me. "You're not the boss of me!" I thought. And so it's been ever since - for the most part.

I've learned a little bit since then. Having a paying job doesn't demand that one becomes a slave to time. Anyone in any circumstance can fall prey. And each person has the power to lift himself out of the quicksand of time pressure. It's a choice, an outlook, and an in-look.

In 200 B.C. the Roman playwright Plautus penned this lament:

"The Gods confound the man who first found out
How to distinguish the hours - confound him, too
Who in this place set up a sundial
To cut and hack my days so wretchedly
Into small pieces!

I can't (even sit down to eat) unless the sun gives leave.
The town's so full of these confounded dials..."

In 1304, Daffyd ap Gwvilyn, a Welsh bard, wrote: "Confusion to the black-faced clock by the side of the bank that awoke me! May its head, its tongue, its pair of ropes, and its wheels moulder; likewise its weights and dullard balls, its orifices, its hammer, its ducks quacking as if anticipating day and its ever restless works."

I'm not done. Please bear with me...

1884, Charles Dudley Warner, an American editor and essayist vented this: "The chopping up of time into rigid periods is an invasion of individual freedom and makes no allowances for differences in temperament and feeling."

1908, Octave Mirbeau, a French writer observed: "Our thoughts, feelings, and loves are a whirlwind. Everywhere life is rushing insanely like a cavalry charge...Everything around a man jumps, dances, gallops in a movement out of phase with his own."

And where are we now? How do we interpret this chopping up of time, this ruling of the clock, this movement out of sync with our living? Have we learned to be master of it?

On one hand you've got Thich Nhat Hanh, the well-known Buddhist leader imploring present day Americans to slow down, to "take the time to live more deeply."

On the other hand, from his book In Praise of Slowness, Carl Honore notes, "When people moan, 'Oh, I'm so busy, I'm run off my feet, my life is a blur, I haven't got time for anything,' what they often mean is, 'Look at me: I am hugely important, exciting and energetic.'"

From 200 B.C. until now what have we learned? We've become slaves to the created timepiece. We relish the squeezing and frantic filling of it. Our solution? In resignation we label this phenomenon The Tyranny of the Urgent, roll our eyes, and sigh knowingly.

Or unknowingly.

Which is it?

While our society is run by years, days, hours, and minutes, and while we have to work within the parameters of such a set-up in order to keep appointments and whatnot, we are not bound by time as much as we think we are. Though I don't wear a watch I am always on time for appointments, I'm dependable. I budget my time just like anyone else - just not down to the minute. But by chunks. By daylight and darkness. By morning, noon, evening, and night.

Like money, the clock is a wonderful servant, but a horrid master.

Let this true story be a lesson to us all in why slowing down and living deeply are not only more satisfying, but healthier than bowing to the tyranny of the urgent. From In Praise of Slowness:

In Japan "...the locals have a word - karoshi - that means 'death by overwork.' One of the most famous victims of karoshi was Kamei Shuji, a high-flying broker who routinely put in ninety-hour weeks during the Japanese stock market boom of the late 1980's. His company trumpeted his superhuman stamina in newsletters and training booklets, turning him into the gold standard to which all employees should aspire. In a rare break from Japanese protocol, Shuji was asked to coach senior colleagues in the art of salesmanship, which piled extra stress onto his pinstriped shoulders. When Japan's stock bubble burst in 1989, Shuji worked even longer hours to pick up the slack. In 1990, he died suddenly of a heart attack. He was twenty-six."

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. ~~ The Who

Seasons of the Heart

2008-04-11T19:20:00.000-07:00

Seasons. From winter's pause comes flowing sap, come buds and soon leaves, flowers that precede fruit. Growing time. Warm, friendly, long days, sultry nights. For this I am ready, willing, and hopefully able.

A woman I know is showing the disintegration of age. Diabetes has played out in her kidneys and now her eyes. Her mind is softening. Her hands shake, her breathing is more labored than last I noticed. Her growing seasons are behind - or are they?

Who of us really knows what goes on in the minds of the elderly, as they acknowledge death's certain approach. Young people, healthy people don't really think they will die. Oh, they know it intellectually, but unless a mortal illness invades them or someone close to them, they don't live as though their number of days is finite. But the elderly watch the people they know - who know them - leave, never to return. What is that like? What goes on in the mind of one who's generation dwindles? Is is like the beauty of a faded rose, unfolded, vulnerable, its work exposed even while it shares its last perfume?

Studying children invites us to remember the joy of discovery, innocence, freedom from peer pressure.

Observing the elderly invites us to examine our personal progress in comparison to a long well-lived or poorly lived life. This week I heard a little girl say of her grandma, "Her whole life seems so sad. She hasn't done much and no one likes her because she's so mean. She's all old now. It's just sad."

It is sad. But maybe the good is that this little girl will remember her impressions and decide to live a different sort of life as far as she is able.

Yes, there is much to learn in looking backwards at youth and at the same time looking forward toward the beautiful, fragrant faded rose.

I'm finding this middle ground (should I be destined to live a long life) to be a wonderful stretch of calm sea to pause and reflect, reposition the rudder a little, smooth out the sailing, focus on the horizon's point that most appeals, sit back and enjoy the ride. Not bad, not bad at all.

Natural Relief

2008-04-10T10:35:00.000-07:00

Three pressure-filled days.

Mental tensions press.

Their physical manifestations settle in my neck and shoulder.

A warning.

Slow down.

Relax.

Breathe.

Take a pill?

No, a hot soak.

The ritual begins once the kids are asleep. Fill the tub.

Turn on the jets. Soothing bubbles!

Out go the lights, lit are the candles.

An hour later, relief.

A good night's sleep.

Fresh perspective this morning.

Birch Trees Three

2008-04-06T19:20:00.001-07:00

"Trees are the best monuments that a man can erect to his own memory. They speak his praises without flattery, and they are blessings to children yet unborn." ~~Lord Orrery, 1749

"Acts of creation are ordinarily reserved for gods and poets. To plant a pine, one need only own a shovel." ~~Aldo Leopold

"A tree uses what comes its way to nurture itself. By sinking its roots deeply into the earth, by accepting the rain that flows towards it, by reaching out to the sun, the tree perfects its character and becomes great. ... Absorb, absorb, absorb. That is the secret of the tree." ~~Deng Ming-Dao ( Everyday Tao, 1996)

We planted three birch trees this weekend to replace three Thundercloud Plum trees we had to remove before building the addition. The plum trees were old and rotting and ready to enter the wood pile. Trees comfort me. Thank you, Tom, for all the work you've done to make these beautiful trees a part of our family's environment!

"They are beautiful in their peace, they are wise in their silence. They will stand after we are dust. They teach us, and we tend them." ~~Galeain ip Altiem MacDunelmor

“He who plants a tree plants hope.” ~~Lucy Larcom

“Speak to the Earth, and it shall teach thee.” ~~Job 12.8

Robert Frost Speaks

2008-04-04T16:38:00.000-07:00

"Oh, give us pleasure in the flowers today;
And give us not to think so far away
As the uncertain harvest; keep us here
All simply in the springing of the year.

Oh, give us pleasure in the orchard white
Like nothing else by day, like ghosts by night;
And make us happy in the happy bees,
The swarm dilating round the perfect trees.

And make us happy in the darting bird
That suddenly above the bees is heard,
The meteor that thrusts in with needle bill,
And off a blossom in mid air stands still.

For this is love and nothing else is love,
To which it is reserved for God above
To sanctify to what far ends He will,
But which it only needs that we fulfill."

~~Robert Frost, A Prayer in Spring

Instinctive Ways of Geese

2008-04-03T19:55:00.000-07:00

Geese are fascinating. Moving together in a ballet of form and grace.

Calm at the water's edge, somehow they know when to take-off together...

...and off they go! Feet kicking at the water, powerful wings flapping furiously.

Then...calm once again, in formation, flying into the sunset.

Upon observing these two geese last night at the river I thought, "Like the symmetry of a man and a woman living, working, loving in sync."

Beautiful.

Havasupai Indian Waterfall Relaxation

2008-04-02T15:54:00.001-07:00

Three minutes and nine seconds of serene music and scenery.

If you can take the time...

Leaves me relaxed all over.

Sigh...

Compost for Earth Day

2008-04-02T09:54:00.001-07:00

For twenty years we've had a compost pile in our backyard. Kitchen produce scraps and certain yard debris are tossed on the heap. Time and weather change those scraps into rich organic matter which breathe vitality into our gardens.Tom and Joe built this new compost bin last week to replace our tired original construction. Snow, hail, rain, and sunshine pelted the men's shoulders and heads but they creatively worked on, enjoying the task immensely.

Two compartments add efficiency to the process.

Removable slats spare a person's back when it comes time to turn the pile or remove some of its treasure.

We never have to buy soil or compost. Our garbage fees are low for we generate less garbage - recycling helps here as well. Our gardens are lush and prolific, completely organic, and beautiful. As we generate more compost than we need our friends and neighbors gladly shovel up the life-giving matter for their gardens. A win/win situation!

Tom brought the notion of composting into our lives early on. It's been one of his brightest ideas. A connection with the earth and its life cycles is understood and celebrated. Our place in the God-given responsibility as stewards is honored. We respectfully give to the earth and it returns our labors with blessings from the hands of the Creator.

Friendly Reminder: April 22nd is Earth Day.